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Frequently Asked Questions

1. How do I know if I am a Sex and Love Addict? Only you can answer that question. Take a look at the 40 Questions for Self Diagnosis, and if you answer yes to any one of them, this program could be helpful for you.  You might also review the 12 Characteristics of Sex and Love Addiction.

2. Is this program anonymous? Anonymity is a basic principle in our Fellowship, according to Tradition 12. Each member of the program is asked to respect that all anonymity of all members of S.L.A.A.. first name and last initial are the only known information of the individual member. It is also requested that meeting discussion, details, etc., be kept in the strictest confidence, making the program widely available to those who need it. However, we are not anonymous to each other.

3. What does it cost?  “S.L.A.A. is free to all who need it.” There is no fee for attending S.L.A.A.. However, there is a collection called the Seventh Tradition during each meeting where attendees are asked to give according to their means. This money helps each group pay the rent, buy books, and contribute to New England Intergroup (NEI) and Fellowship Wide Services (F.W.S.). For more information please visit the 7th tradition page.

4. Where are the meetings? S.L.A.A. meetings under the New England Intergroup service area are in Eastern Mass. and Rhode Island.  Our Meeting List page has listings by days of the week or by location. There are also S.L.A.A. meetings all over the globe, online meetings, and telephone meetings. Meetings outside this area can be found on the Fellowship Wide Services web site.

5. What are meetings like? Our meetings are an opportunity for members to relate their stories about recovery from sex and love addiction. Members identify themselves by first name only and will share their experience, strength, and hope. Our stories disclose what we were like, what happened to change us, and what we are like now. Meetings may have different formats. Meetings may have formats relating to Step Study, Newcomer, Speaker, Getting Current, etc.

6. Do I need permission to attend a meeting? No, just show up at the meeting. Closed meetings are open only to those who believe or suspect they are a sex and/or love addict while open meetings are for individuals interested in learning the S.L.A.A. program of recovery.

7. Who attends S.L.A.A. meetings? What kind of people? The only qualification for S.L.A.A. membership is a desire to stop living out a pattern of sex and love addiction. Addiction can take many forms, including but not limited to, a compulsive need for sex, extreme dependency on one person (or many), and/or a chronic preoccupation with romance, intrigue, and fantasy. Sex and love addiction may also take the form of anorexia, a compulsive avoidance of giving or receiving social, sexual, or emotional nourishment. We are united in a common focus: dealing with our addictive sexual and emotional behavior which which transcends any personal differences of sexual orientation or gender identity.

8. Are there gender specific meetings? Yes – see our Meeting List page.

9. Do I have to speak at a meeting? No, you don’t have to share anything unless you want to. You may be asked your first name, just to identify yourself as a newcomer.

10. What if there are no meetings near me? There are online meetings and telephone meetings available. If you and others see a need for an S.L.A.A. meeting in your area, you can download a Group Starter Kit and start a meeting in your area.

11. How do I get a sponsor? It is recommended that you attend meetings regularly and listen attentively to those members who share and do service at your meetings. If there is someone with whom you share a common story, or you respect their level of recovery, or you think this person can be helpful to you in recovery, you simply approach this person and ask him or her to be your sponsor.  Please see What is S.L.A.A. Sponsorship? for more information.

12. I am a therapist who would like to get some S.L.A.A. information for a client. How do I go about that? Therapists and other professionals often refer their clients to S.L.A.A. To learn more about S.L.A.A., please see For the Professional: Information About S.L.A.A.

13. I am a spouse/family member of someone who might be a sex and love addict.  Where can I get help? The program you are inquiring about is known as CO-SLAA, which is for family and friends of people who are, or might be, sex and love addicts. CO-SLAA meetings is listed here as a courtesy and is not affiliated with S.L.A.A. 

14. What is an Intergroup? An Intergroup is two or more groups in an area that work together to achieve the primary purpose of the S.L.A.A. program and who meet on a regular basis. The Intergroup acts as a link between the individual groups in their area and S.L.A.A. as a whole.